Reflector

Lord my simple prayer is this: that I desire and want what You say I need and not what I think I need. Because I no longer live for myself but with a surrendered heart knowing that I serve and cling to and grow in a relationship with the Lord who spoke life into existence.

Going through my small life I look back on all the things that I have excused in my life and I am incredibly humbled. I have always justified my life by what the world is like. I felt like i was doing well when I wasn't I and felt secure when I shouldn't have. In Genesis 1:14 through 19 is where God creates the Sun and the moon. What an analogy to place in the first chapter of the inspired word of the Lord! We look at that and we have become so desensitized to what power and awe we should be in when we come to even pray before the Lord or say his name! The God who spoke into existence these things we study and try to explain with years and years of study when God shouts in the first chapter of his word "It was me!". When we look at the moon we should see ourselves and the Sun is Christ. The moon in it of itself does not have light but rather reflects the light from the Sun. In such we should be reflectors of the light of our father Jesus Christ. The problem I and I'm sure most face is clearly addressed when we look in the mirror and that problem is ourselves. We want what we don't need and we desire the things we know we shouldn't desire. We are in our way. When we step out that's when the Lord can step in and use us. I'm slowly learning what it takes to be a man of God and my heart is to strive everyday to grow in my relationship with the Creator of the universe, the answer to the questions and the period at the end of the statement.

September 14, 2009

So this is the first blog I have written in awhile. I have been incredibly busy with school and work and Bible along with getting sick doesn't help either but alas I am back. Well this week has been incredibly exciting with classes and such but the most time I spent sleeping which was a new change for. We went over Job which was awesome and are practically done with Genesis so 2 books down..64 to go! It's an exciting mountain to climb though I must say I don't think I'm going to want to leave when it is time to leave GCBI the friendships and family here I can already tell is going to be something I will never forget so that's going to be hard. Well today I spoke in front of the older people for Sunday night and everyone seemed to enjoy what I had to say along with my enthusiasm that I bring or so they say. I just have a passion for the word! I really could care less about anything right now other than it and teaching the kids at BFC youth about what I have learnt. God has such a presence at GCBI its exciting to see him effect my life in turn hopefully effect others lives in a positive way. God is a great God which is an understatement but man I'm excited to share what I'm learning with the kids at BFC. My heart is on fire for the word and at the same time for those kids. I think the kids God is putting there on Sunday night are the right kids to hear the word and not just hear it but respond to it and put it into action in their lives as well. Its really exciting!! I only pray that when something in my life does not work out the way he planned I can look at it and be as happy I am now.
Something the lord has put heavy on my heart is a relationship with a girl that loves him and has a passion for him. I'm not necessary looking for one and at this moment I can't think of anyone that God has in particular except for one....which I mean God can do all things but man I just don't see that happening as much as I wouldn't mind it happening I just don't think its in the cards. Everyday I have to take as its own and try and see it through God's eyes because man these days are precious. We only get so many of them if were lucky and God has it worked out which is exciting. I feel like God has put marriage on my mind a lot. I feel like God really wants me to get married within the next couple of years man and that's scary....especially considering there is no girl in my life and what not but hey I'm willing so I guess if he wants it its going to happen its just scary to think about! Eh I'm probably thinking about it too much but man God has been harping on it a lot in my life....lots of prayers have been going into that trust me so it'll work itself out I suppose.

September 06, 2008

So today was quite an interesting day and not at all how I thought it was going to go. I woke up went straight to church to hear Pastor Randy speak which is always good. He's so insightful and he def. knows his stuff. I probably say that a lot but its just the truth. He discussed John 9 in the second service and man it was great. I spoke at BFC tonight for the youth and it felt good but I don't know how the youth liked it some said it was good but of course I feel like they are just saying that so who knows. I just spoke the word and then Mr. Stone spoke and man that was a testimony! It was very nice to hear and he brought up some great points I think about how wasteful we have become as a nation and how most people work so hard and have absolutely nothing as we are in a depression but still have things to eat and such.Great story and great lesson learned. Also tonight I found out that next week I am speaking in front of the people who are coming for Sunday night service next Sunday like the older people, so that's kinda exciting. Scary but exciting.God is def. opening doors and I'm excited what hes doing in my life. I go to see Chad today which is always a great day, I love that guy full of energy for the lord hes a great pick up for me. Bryan is also down from USF and he is a great friend as well to talk with and bounce ideas off of.Can't wait to get up and do it again tomorrow for the glory of the Lord!! Man its good to be loved by the lord.

Septemeber 5th 2009

Ahh today was a much needed day off for yours truly that was basically used to do laundry ( which I much needed to do and spend some time one on one with my bible. Great day all in all. I was able to mark most of what I have to do up and am extremely excited to hear Pastor Randy speak tmr and then for my debut at BFC as the main speaker. Exciting times are ahead of me and I can see God moving in my life ahead of me showing me which doors to go through and which ones to leave shut. It's been really on my heart to be more tidy around my dorm room and I feel that I accomplished that today as well so I feel accomplished! God has brought me to that point and I'm still very motivated to gain as much as I can from the experiences I have had thus far. Thursdays class that Pastor Randy taught was unbelievable. I loved every second of it and its unreal how fast the time flies by while listening and absorbing what he has to say. I don't know why but the Tower of Babel struck a pretty big note with me and it's really cool for God to show us examples of what can go on in our lives. God is going to discipline us and its not because he's mean its because we are stupid and need it! We do so much stuff that God sees and has no idea why we do the things we do! I really think he must be so awed at us sometimes and just look down on us and be like " This is what you do after all I've done for you??" we as a nation are clearly not getting it! God has his hands on us but the more we struggle and pull away and want to do things the way WE want to do them were gonna fall and come back crying to him and not understand why he would do this in our life!! Its ridiculous and its being taught that's normal and OK when it is not! The people where trying to replace God with an economy and defied what he said and wanted to remain together rather then separate.....God had other plans. Gotta love that!! We have our plans and think because we are prospering we are in control and we are flying under God's raidar getting away with things but the fact of the matter is were NOT and were going to get a wake up call. God loves those who love him and he knows when we accept what his Son did for us we are still going to mess up once and awhile but when we don't change our actions as a result of what Christ did for us are we truly saved?? That's a question that we all must face and its a question that is going to hit some harder than others but those are the best questions to be asked! If someone can't think about anything but what that question is GOOD. Because Jesus knows whose in the book of Life and you should KNOW if you are too and if you don't know then I'm glad you lose sleep and or appetite because its a question that most think I'm saved I know what Jesus did and go on sinning and then make a profession of faith again and then hurt their testimony over and over again until a time comes where there is two paths. You come to the realization that God is who you need to live for and gain a biblical world view or you become a person on the fence that has fire insurance but doesn't act like there life is God's life. He owns everything end of story including the food and your life! The sooner the better we realize that but its not Youth Pastors or Pastors job to walk with the Lord for you you have to do that yourself! The only way to know the Father is to know what he wants and the ONLY way your going to know what he wants is if you read his word!
You see the people in church who haven't gone in awhile and are screaming out for God but they fail to realize he's always been there sitting on there bookshelf or underneath some papers or used as a paper weight!

Seprember 1st, 2009

The first dayof class was today! Man Pastor Randy is so wise and humble. I can't honestly believe that the lord has given me the opportunity to learn the information from him is just humbleing and exciting. Man within that couple of hours just listening to Pasotr Randy my whole preconcieved notions of what the bible had to say was thrown out the window and thats what I have to do. ALl my life has been leading up to this moment which God has given me to get a little base and now take that throw it out the window! I really am excited more than i can say for the opportunity that has been given to me at GCBI. I talked to Harry today and I'm going to be speaking at BFC this Sunday and all the Sunday nights so its exciting that God has given me a place to pour out the knowledge that I recieve in order to help the kids understand the bible which they Desperately need! So much information to take in but man can't love it more than I do right now! I want to make God happy so I have to make sure I know what he wants and I know that God wants me at GCBI and also at BFC teaching whenever given the opportunity!

The Bible Oh how I thought I knew Thee!

So this Blog is going to be a major summary of the past 8 days we had in one of the most memorable experiences I have ever had. we woke just about every day at 7 am to get ready drink our coffee and wake our eyes up to focus our attentions on what we should have our entire focus on whether being told to or not. The anvil that has worn out many hammers. Book after book was read and more and more questions arose and things that I once though I understood where thrown out the window Verse after Verse line after line page after page my heart sinking and rejoicing at the same time. I have wanted to be a Youth pastor since 10th grade and I honestly never though I would read the Bible all the way through and I have no doubt that most Youth Pastor, let alone Pastors have read the book all the way through. As I was very excited about the journey I was taking my heart sank for those who have made there life about a book and they don't even know whats in it. its scary how many people , much like myself, accept things on blind faith which in my opinion is slowly killing off any credibility we have as Christians. They see some of the lives that claim to follow Christ and most claim to know him but there hearts are far from him making decision and justifying what they do by the standards of a world has turned their backs and worshiped the creation rather than the creator. I wish I could sum this experience into mere words but I honestly can not without taking away the power of it that it had on me. All I was brought up with, which was not much, in knowledge of the bible has been thrown into a whirlwind and what I thought I saw was nothing more than smoke that blocked from the glorious picture of completeness. We have made one pass through and I know that I haven't gripped everything that is there to grasp but I know that the father calls me his son and I love that. I know that people have chosen a life of evil and unfullfilling passion that ends there lives in way they deserve. I can't wait for class tomorrow and exciting things are happening. I can't help but be nervous . I hope to add to my knowledge for the glory of the lord and to pour it out at BFC because God has opened a door and I will walk through it with him lighting my way to bear fruit and to teach his word. Not fitting his word into what I have to say but telling what he has to say and does so we can "surrender outlives to the truth in action to change the world around us!"

August 22nd and 23rd, 2009

Well it has been an exciting past two days to say the least. I did not not get to blog it up last time based on the fact the Internet was down at GCBI. I know bummer but Cameron is fixing it and we are doing our best with what we have. Yesterday was a pretty boring day all in all I mean we had a free day so nothing really happened except for a party at the Taylor's which was good because I got to see the Youth I so desperately feel are my battleground. I can see God put them in my life and I in there's and its really cool to hear that they like to hear my teaching which is inspired by the Lord and through Randy who is inspired by the text through the lord working through him which someone did the same to him I have no doubt...what an amazing pattern!!! God has given me a lot to do based on this full load at SFCC which I will happily take and look forward to doing my best to give the God through me. This morning was Sunday which is by the best day of my week hands down. Pastor Randy hit home in his first message about looking the part but not having the Word and your missing the key piece to a puzzle. Its so true! With out knowledge of the word you will not only be able to defend yourself with the Sword of light (which is the bible in the armour of Chirst that we put on if I remember correctly but also how can we truly witness to someone with out knowing his word and have a firm stance on what we believe. Blind faith is just not an option and shouldn't be were we set the bar because when we set it that low no one wins. Christ was about making disciples and Man Randy hit on that in the first service in 2nd Kings. How cool is that! The second service was on John 8 and how we "need not cast the first stone' But it wasn't like that at all lol. Jesus allows do overs and if we confess our sins he will forgive us but some sins you don't get a do over on. The knowledge that flows out of Randy on to us is spectacular. The way the Lord is using him to disciple us is just exciting and I can't help but smile when he talks because I just look forward to soaking up so much of the knowledge the Lord has given him and to pour that out on someone else and bam bam bam its spreading like wild fire. Why people try to act like God can't see there sin and hide it is crazy. And we all do it!! Even going back to Adam and Eve they tried to wiggle there way out of sin and pass the blame!
Tonight we read the Fall of Satan and then Genesis 1- 36 I believe followed by Job through 10. What a great experience to just have 9 people including Cameron and SB to just be in the word thinking over it reading through it as a family of the lord and listening to the Lord's love letter. Is there any better way to spend your time?? Ask me in 8 days when we read the entire thing and I have a feeling the answer will be an emphatic NO. Can't wait to read the bible though I won't be able to blog about my experience I will be keeping a Journal and then transfer it over. God is doing great things at GCBI and I can;t wait to jump into his word heads first for 8 straight days!

August 21st, 2009

Ahh to be back in my home church again. What a breath of fresh air! Not that I don't love Grace Church but to see the faces that have helped support me in my walk with the Lord and now my journey that I'm beginning at GCBI was very nice. I also just looked around and realized how blessed the Lord has made me. It was quite humbling but at the same time I felt the need of the kids in that church that need is the word. Pastor Todd and Harry and the Grubb family are doing an extraordinary job but Todd's the Pastor, Harry's the music director, and the Grubb's have there life I mean no one's sole focus is the Youth group of Bible Fellowship Church and rightly it shouldn't be because they probably aren't called to make that their sole objective. God has opened doors for me to hopefully speak on Sunday nights as the main speaker which is just so exciting. I mean I want these kids to get fed with the word more than anything else. Every time I look at the Youth group I can't help but think about the Parable of the Sower. I feel that a lot of the kids are like the seeds that fell among the rocky soil and among the thorns. They accept Christ as their Savior and when the Joy of that fire that burns in them goes down from that "Spiritual High" and when temptation comes they are not ready to combat it with the word of the lord or choose to do whats wrong knowing that they will just ask him for forgiveness like pastor Randy spoke about last weekend. They use salvation as there own little get out Hell card and continue to live their lives as if nothing is different. I feel they do this though because they are not being discipled and that's where we need to come in. Salvation is a great thing but when we don't fully understand what we are accepting it is quite possibly the scariest thing and most harming thing to the Christian faith from what I see. People see Christians living in constant sin and A.) See that and want nothing to do with the faith because they assume all of us are like that. or B.) see that think its ok and do that as well. Its very scary. And Yes Jesus will forgive you as we all fall short of the glory of God and we still have the sin nature in us but when we knowingly do wrong because its what WE want when WE want it and because WE know that God will forgive us...its a slippery slope and not the life the disciples had planned for the believers of the church. I don't want to sound like I'm criticizing any church youth group or anything because I'm not I'm just very concerned about Youth Groups in general. Hyping the kids on Soda and getting them riled up and then expecting them to calm down for the word is crazy. That's something that has been very heavy on my heart and I really have been thinking about it but at the same time tonight made me realize something else as well. Though while doing this I realized that I was not praying about it which is something that I plan to start doing as Bible Fellowship is looking for a Youth Pastor. I hope and pray that God puts someone there that has a passion for the word and to feed kids the word...not the pop culture Jesus but the Jesus that like Pastor Randy said in verse 7 of John where he was like you go to the place but I'm so offensive to them they are trying to plot to kill me because I tell them what they are doing is wrong! You guys can go because your not telling the world that what they are doing is wrong! Who am I the guy who is worried about not hurting some one's feelings or the person who love that person enough to tell them in Del Tackets words " You do wrong!" in a loving way but like a wise friend said " If I don't say it then I'm hurting the person". What an exciting couple of days I have in front of myself. God is working great things at GCBI and I can't say that enough. I sometimes don't even realize I'm still in Sebring because I feel that it's just me my brothers and sisters and the Lord studying his word. I continue to pray that the lord guides me in all I do here and get everything I can from his word and this week while at sometimes may be hard but to take as much as I can for our " Bible Boot Camp".

August 20th, 2009

"Just another day in Paradise" by Phil Vassar. That's the song I am listening to while I write my first blog into the many that I hope to write through this journey of my life that God has set aside for me to take. I find this pretty comical especially seeing that the first message I heard Pastor Randy teach on Sunday morning had a reference to crazy names of country music songs. But as I listen to this song words are flying at me and in the catchy jingle that is the song these stuck out to me, "No place I'd rather be" and " Wouldn't trade it for anything". I've been at GCBI for about 5 days now and I can honestly say those sum up pretty well how I feel about this program. I'm so excited to be part of what the lord is doing in this Ministry it literally almost brings me to tears and I can't help but shake in anticipation for what had has in store for us who have signed up for a journey where its not about what we can get from God as much as what we can do to further the kingdom of God with him working through us. The people that are leading us are men and woman of God and any words that I put down be it exciting or be it enthused pale in comparison at what I truly feel for this program in the short time I've been here and the month or two leading up. Today we went through the bible from Genesis 1-11 and color coded it based on People, Conflict, Props, and Places. Cameron and some others made a comment about how God questions Adam and Eve about eating from the tree as if he doesn't already know. I love Genesis for this very reason. They are questioned by God himself and they choose to answer selfishly and pawn the blame off on some one else. First Adam on the Woman and then the Woman on the Serpent. Genesis 3 is something that just awes me in so many ways. God has given Adam and Eve a choice and being a loving God of course he wants us to choose to do what is according to his nature but through Satan and adding to God's word we see the result of exactly what Satan wants - Confusion! Eve makes God out to be more demanding then he actually is by adding to his word about touching the tree which he never said but he said "don't eat from the tree." Satan uses this confusion and pollutes the woman's mind in something that's never been seen in history in the created questioning the creator! This leads to the first sin and exactly what Satan wanted through his use of deceiving saying you surely will not die and Eve putting her faith into the created instead of the creator. Lesson's man that's what its about! We need to be ready with God's word so when we are attacked we can lean on his understanding that he gave us to protect us from our worldly understanding and desires. The work God is doing here is exciting to say the least with the people he is effecting and the people he has placed in Sebring Florida of all places to impact the word with truth! His word! Making Disciples! We have such different walks to get to this point but the Creator has decided to cross our paths so we can hear and learn his word from Pastor Randy, Aaron, Cameron and all the others he's given us to be obedient to his word and go out and impact the world the lord has given us. Jesus turned the world upside down with 12 people is what I keep hearing from everyone around here and its so true. I can't wait to keep going in this year and gain a better understanding of God's nature and God's plan for myself as I feel it has to do with Youth Ministry already but God can always reveal new and exciting things in my life if I'm willing to know what he expects from me. Its not about what I want but what God wants no matter how I feel about it because his will is far greater than mine! I will be needing prayer for this journey as I make my way through the bible having God effect me and mold me the way he wants!