So Good

"..."single ruse." By that I mean the tendency on the part of some (certainly not all) single young people to think that what they really need is to find "the one." Once their life mate is found, they assume, everything else will fall into place. Their loneliness, their insecurity, their worries about their own significance- all this and more will somehow mystically melt away in the fire of marital passion.

And, for a very short season, this might appear to be the case. Infatuation can be an intoxicating drug that temporarily covers up any number of inner weaknesses.

But marriage is a spotlight showing us that our search for another human being to "complete" us is misguided. When disillusionment breaks through, we have one of two choices: Dump our spouse and become infatuated with somebody new, or seek to understand the message behind the disillusionment-that we should seek our significance, meaning, and purpose in our Creator rather than in another human being.
Approached in the right way, marriage can cause us to reevaluate our dependency on other humans for our spiritual nourishment, and direct us to nurture our relationship with God instead. No human being can love us the way we long to be loved; it is just not possible for another human to reach and alleviate the spiritual ache that God has placed in all of us.  "

Have you ever felt something so strongly that when you try to put it into words it makes absolutely no sense? You fumble over the words in your mind but they escape you. You find yourself falling short time and time again trying to explain something that is incredibly important to you. That's how I felt with this passage. I've felt exactly this and it's something I still deal with. This is what I've been praying for so long and Mr. Thomas put it in such an eloquent way I had to share. As much as I don't want my life to be dictated by the idea of searching for "the one" to meet a need they can't meet, it's not an easy task. It's not an easy task by any means for me, considering that I feel the Lord has put such a desire to be a Godly husband and Godly Father. It's the truth though and it's also a temptation ,I believe, we all face. We as fallen people desperately seek to fill the void left during the fall that is inside of us all. It doesn't have to be "the one" but in many cases it is and it goes completely against the idea that Galatians 1:10 addresses.

"For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ."

As Christians our identity can't be found in another person but rather it must be found in the Lord. We can't live our lives to please other people but rather our main goal should be to please the Lord with our lives (2 Cor. 5:9). As a single person your at spot number two on the "what's most important" list behind God. When you take marriage into account however you become at the very highest number three. So far I must say I highly recommend the book "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. It's truly not only a book about marriage alone but a book about relationships in our lives. Some are clearly directed towards married life but the idea of dying to self and meeting others needs before your own is a biblical one we don't need to only apply to marriage but also to our brothers and sisters in Christ.