Where oh where?

Man I tell ya I can remember being in GCBI and reading a book on marriage. I distinctly remember a couple people, just joking of course, hassling me over and over about it. "You're not married why are you reading a book on it?". Great point, I must admit, I'm not married and I completely understand the quizzical (great word by the way) expressions I got from people. I've seen a lot growing up in the household I did in regards to marriage and how when it's really done in the wrong way it can physically and emotionally destroy people. I've seen, first hand, the hurt it can cause and the pain that remains with people to this day. The scars a broken marriage can leave are ones that I still struggle with. The ripping apart of two people who became one is painful to say the least and to me marriage is a serious thing. I step back and look at my life and I think to myself, "man I should hate marriage." Everything about it should rub me the wrong way, however when I think of marriage I have this joy that over flows.

Marriage is something God has put on my heart since the beginning of GCBI and it's still as heavy as ever laying in the same spot. One day, God willing I will become a husband and that junk pumps me up like crazy. I've even come to terms with the fact that it may never happen for me, as hard as that might be. however, I do think the Lord's plan for me includes marriage. It's something I've had to bring to God over and over again asking Him in humble prayer " Are these desires for marriage my feelings or your will Lord?".

I love working with kids. It's a passion of mine and I'm so incredibly blessed to work with them on a daily basis. He's blessed me so much just by having Bible Fellowship's Youth Group in my life that words can't do justice how good I truly know He is. With that being said I know that's not all He would have me do with my life. Marriage is one of the biggest ministry's a believer can have and I feel that call. Again I say I can't explain it to you and it feels much like I bet Paul felt in Ephesians 3:14-19. God's call in my life right now, is to be getting prepared for the husband I want to be. I've had so many people tell me "You have no idea how tough and difficult it is. Experience is a completely different thing for marriage." I understand that and I'm sure they are very right but I want to do everything possible I can do to be a Godly husband before I am one. I want to do everything I possibly can to be a Godly father before I am one.

Which brings me to the scriptures I've been going over and over.

"An excellent wife who can find? For her worth is far above jewels."

Proverbs 31:10

Proverbs 31 is a piece of scripture that most everyone has read and pointed to during some point in their life. What a power scripture! I love the way this verse starts as the writer begins with a great question. Who the heck can find an excellent wife?? As great the question is I think the writer is making a point with this statement. When you think about it the verse has the idea that this guy has been looking for a wife and his conclusion? It's not easy.

This verse emphasizes how much a wife should be worth in the eyes of a husband. The exact worth? Immeasurable!

Think about a jewel for a minute, now I acknowledge this may not be what the writer was going for but bare with me. When I think of jewels I think of things that you have to seek out. Things that are hard to find and are worth something. My mind can't help but travel to the parable Jesus talks about in Matthew 13:45-46. Jesus is talking about the kingdom of heaven in these verses but it talks about a pearl of great value. Something that's worth so much to you that you'd be willing to give up any material thing in this world to have. Because it's worth it. Nothing can compare to it.